Re-nesting – The Long Read

Even if as you read this it isn’t officially autumn yet, you know that summer is past and we are beginning to settle into another winter slog toward Spring and a return to indoor-outdoor living.

 It’s time to gather up the potted plants that have spent the summer in the greenery spa otherwise known as your back yard and front porch and bring them indoors where, if you don’t kill them with kindness they’ll wait for Spring.  The same goes for the garden gnomes too fragile for the frosts and the other effluent that has burst from the windows and doors of your home into the great beyond.

There’s a lot more to getting ready to live only inside your house again than just rescuing things that will perish in the Winter outside it.

This is the time of year when you need to re-nest.

You nested in your home before the latest Spring and now you need to re-establish that next, hence “re-nesting.” You need to snuggle in and fall in love with inside your home again.

When you’re re-nesting, making lots of changes shouldn’t be at the top of your list.  Familiar is comfortable and comfort is king when you are re-nesting.  The familiar also seems safe.  Sure, make modifications based on what you learned about how you like to live during your last extended home stay (i.e., last winter), but don’t change things just to change them. We don’t want the places where we live or spend time to never change, if they never change we get bored with them, we just want them to change slowly, not all in a week.   We’re comfortable in familiar spaces, we know what to expect in them, how things will work.  This is especially true when we’re experiencing some sort of stress, which many of us may if pandemic lock downs get repeated this winter, for instance.  As our stress levels build we feel better and better about familiar things, even if we haven’t had the most positive of experiences with whatever is familiar.  We’re a little more adventurous about making changes, we embrace novelty more boldly, when we’re in a good mood (think about some of the things that people planning weddings decide to do regarding décor, for example), but don’t go overboard with changing things out if you find yourself wandering through a home goods store on a glorious autumn day—even the best-est of good moods won’t last forever.  Be wary of talking to others about familiar and less familiar options.  When asked, we express much more positive feelings about deviating from the familiar than we’re willing to act on—we say we’re all for unfamiliar/novel but are much more likely to select the familiar wallpaper, paint color, sofa style, art (people selling abstract art, may want to find another line of work, unless they have a very special clientele, for example), etc.  Similarly, classical architecture is preferred to contemporary options.  If you share your home with someone on the autism disorder spectrum it is particularly important that re-nesting spaces be familiar.

When you’re asking yourself if you should make a change, you’re answering your own question.  When a space doesn’t seem comfortable anymore, it isn’t.

A place can seem less comfortable for a variety of reasons, some grounded in how exactly the space is used (not enough bedrooms for all residents, no space large enough for a table for all family members to share, you have taken up painting and there’s no place to set up your easel, for instance), and others that are more conceptual (you’ve become more concerned about the environment and your home really isn’t very green, for example).  When friends, your community, move away, this can also be a good time for you to relocate and to start anew if you don’t feel you mesh with new residents.

Beware, however, of making significant changes if you’re particularly stressed about something that’s relatively short term (you’re ill but will probably recover, for example).  When we’re very tense, being in a familiar space can be a powerful feel-better balm.

Still wavering about whether to make a change or not?  Think about the three core, design-related drives that each of us has—we’ve talked about them before, here for example.  We are driven to do whatever we’re doing well, to have some control over our life experiences, and to bond with people we choose.  Is the design of your home and the things in it helping you reach all three of these goals?  If not, you need to make some changes and you can use our index to find the articles that will let you know the specific sorts of home modifications are needed in your case.

When the environments you use don’t help you achieve your life objectives, your life is lousy—your home should evolve when it doesn’t support your quest to do whatever you’re up to well (whether that’s writing a technical report or a novel, learning to play the accordion, or creating positive memories with your kids), live how you choose to (with the blinds up or down, etc.), and establishing and maintaining psychological bonds with the others you choose.

Scents

Smells are really important as you re-nest.  Evoking positive memories about prior experiences in your home via scenting can significantly improve moods and self-esteem, social connections with others, and even creativity.

Once you can’t open the windows as much as you have before, things may start to smell a little musty in your home and you may head to the store to buy something, anything to make your home smell a little better—which is when research that’s been done with particular scents may come in handy.  As you peruse the options in the store aisle remember that the best scents for your home are not only the ones you link to positive memories but also:

• Anything you categorize as “pleasant” if your goal is simply to improve your mood or lower your stress levels generally
• Warmer scents (such as cinnamon and vanilla) if you’d like a space to seem a little smaller/cosier and cooler ones, such as peppermint, eucalyptus, and green apple if seeming a little larger than it actually is is your goal.
• Orange, vanilla, jasmine, hyacinth and florals in general for reducing anxiety
• Lemon, mango, and lavender, for example, to relax.
• Grapefruit, tangerine, peppermint, and eucalyptus to pep up
• Jasmine to sleep a more refreshing sleep
• Peppermint to reduce perceptions of physical effort (think: working out)

The Biophilia Effect

Our minds get tired after we concentrate, do mental/knowledge type work, and during fine weather months many of us mentally refresh by getting outdoors, at least for a little while and spending time around something green, even if the green is a few potted plants.  Once the weather starts to get cooler, those times outside get shorter.  Those plants you’ve salvaged from your garden will help you refresh indoors and so will any photos or paintings of nature scenes (particularly meadows or forests where the trees aren’t too dense).  Plants are most refreshing when you see a couple at a time, with scads of plants, we get tense, our minds react as if we’re in a jungle in which it would be difficult to see danger and escape it.

Light!

Natural light is also great for our mood and our mental performance, so whenever possible make sure that you keep your curtains and blinds pulled back so that sunshine can flow into your home; when you do your re-nesting will be just a little more pleasant.

Optimize your artificial light as well to make transitioning to mainly inside living just a little easier.  Cooler lights, particularly when they’re in overhead fixtures, are great for helping us concentrate and feel a little peppier.  Warmer lights, which are most effective in wall sconces, table lamps, and floor lamps, help us relax, mingle pleasantly with others, and think just a little more creatively.  Light bulb packages let you know if they emit warm or cool light.

Tidy!

If your home has become a sort of dumping ground while you’ve been spending lots of time outside, it’s time to pick things up as you transition back indoors.  Too much going on visually makes us really tense, which is why there is television show after television show about de-cluttering.  Aim for a space with about as much going on visually as in a residential interior designed by Frank Lloyd Wright (think number of colours, shapes, patterns, and orderliness of the arrangement of those colours, shapes, and patterns, for example).  As you de-clutter, if you can’t bear the thought of giving a particular item away or putting it in the bin, don’t do either.  Tuck it out of sight under your bed or in the back of your closet and establish a new routine—every month or few months rotate some new items into your spaces (for example, from under the bed) and some that have been visible out of sight (they go into the recently vacated space under your bed).  After a year or so, consider which items never make it out from under your bed and into view, after a while out of sight, they may be easier to let go of.

Sounds

After giving up the outdoor life, you will probably find that you miss hearing nature.  It turns out that listening to pleasant nature sounds (burbling brooks, gently rusting leaves or grasses, peacefully singing birds) is really relaxing and refreshing (I know, surprise, surprise).  You can find all sorts of great nature soundscapes online and play them through whatever speakers you’ve already got.

Final word

Re-nesting, transitioning back to more indoor life after months of spending time outdoors, is challenging but a little planning, particularly for ways to make natural sights and sounds front and centre, will make it successful.