Connecting to a Place

We build relationships with places just as we do with other people and those relationships can be good or not so great.  Also, as with humans, there are advantages to positive relationships, the sorts that long soliloquies in lifestyle and travel magazines rework and discuss at impressive levels of detail.

When we bond to a place:

• Our physical and mental wellbeing in that place are elevated, along with how well our brain does all the things we ask of it.
• We’re more likely to experience positive emotions (for example, to feel happy) there—and happiness is almost always a plus (warning: appearing too jovial at funerals is problematic and likely to get you into all sorts of trouble with surviving next of kin).
• We’re likely to be mentally refreshed after visiting it, and as the world gets more complicated and stressful, each day being able to revitalize our brains becomes more important.
• In places we’re bonded to, we’re apt to be a better global citizen and act in an environmentally responsible way.
• Not only do we behave better Earth-wise in places to which we’re bonded, we’re also more likely to keep them well maintained and in good repair. Similarly, we’ll prepare more thoroughly for potential disasters at a space to which we feel bonded, we’ll have more sandbags ready to thwart flood waters, for example.
• On a societal level, bonding can also work out—when we’re in a place, such as a neighbourhood, to which we are bonded we’re more likely to follow the rules of the society that encircles it, its social norms; for example, to wait for crosswalk signs to turn to the walk signal and to not try to cross the street when it would be frowned upon.

We can form bonds to any certain place or to kind of place—I may bond to my own home or to all homes designed like mine, my particular neighbourhood or all neighbourhoods with lots of gourmet food shops like mine—what we bond to depends on our life experiences with places, as will be discussed in a few sentences.  We can bond to a store or restaurant as easily as to a space with no commercial links.  I alone might be attached to a location or millions of people might (for example, if that place is a religious shrine).  There are some patterns in what we become attached to; women are more likely to attach to a place because of a social association they have to it and men because of activities that occur there.

This cafe design has a connection with air travel, so appeals to those adventurous among us.

Each of us is more likely to attach to locations that we link to something about ourselves that we value.  If we are proud of our sailing ability we’ll bond to our boathouse, probably, the same goes for places associated with our religion or our nationality, even if we’ve never actually been to the spot in question.  If we feel good about our rock-climbing ability, we’ll bond to a place where we’ve enjoyed climbing or met and overcome a challenge.

Most of us bond to where we live, and that bonding process turns a house into a home. Once we’ve bonded to our home, we’re reluctant to leave it, even if we should (for example, even after we have children and it becomes overcrowded).  The same goes for a seat at our office where we like to work, we’re less likely to leave it if we’ve bonded to it when loud talkers gather around it than if we feel no link to that seat.

Even putting cutlery, pens or utensils in old tins or packaging or old cups or mugs from 20 or 30 years ago can really bring nostalgia and remembrance into a space.

Since the places we bond with are generally tied to some aspect of who we are that we value, we get upset when there’s a plan underway to change them in a meaningful way—to level the terrain around the climbing rocks we’ve conquered or to replace the roller rink where we learned to be a great skater with another suburban McDonalds. All of this angst will ensue because, in the end, we don’t bond to the physical attributes of a space but to the ideas and meanings we associate with it.

Ok, so what else do researchers know about the sorts of places are we likely to bond to:

• Our homes, as noted above, particularly if it’s a single-family structure or in a low (as opposed to tall) building or in a physically distinctive community (for example, because of a local architectural style).
• Are in new urbanist neighbourhoods (ones that encourage walking) or neighbourhoods with quiet areas or aesthetically pleasing buildings. We are also more likely to bond to historical cities than ones without a ready tie to the past.
• Ones that remind us, and ones that particularly look like, a beloved place from our past.
• Places that seem of high quality (however we define that).
• Locations that we think are safe.
• Spaces with nearby nature. Research has indicated greater bonding to environmentally responsible spaces and areas with Earth-friendly policies.

One of our favourite bars has an old record player and piles of vinyl by the window, it always sparks conversation and we feel comfortable there. Do you have a favourite retro place?