What to do with the TV?

In a space for mingling people should be able to make ready eye contact with each other. Eye contact opportunities are the reason that in so many living rooms and family rooms around the world, the seats are arranged approximately in a circle.  People need to be able to break eye contact from time to time, for many reasons (sometimes more just becomes too much), so it’s important that in about the middle of that circle of chairs there’s something people can look at from time to time without seeming rude—which could be a sculpture or a bouquet of flowers or something else—but whatever it is shouldn’t block views between minglers.

The TV!

The television set has been the central focus of many living and family rooms over the years, with all chairs oriented towards it, which is too bad, because there’s nothing that destroys mingling faster than a TV, the sounds and sights of TV are designed to capture and hold our attention and they do.  The most draconian solution is to remove the TV from the room, and the second most drastic solution is to put the television on some sort of trolley so it can be moved into position only when conversation is done.  The first of these options is unthinkable to many who don’t see a room as a room if it doesn’t have a TV in it and the second can lead to breakage.

A better solution may be to work the TV into the circle of seats as if it were the resting place of another person.  That makes it easier to talk while it’s on and when it’s off than when seats face it in only a slight adaptation of a theatre arrangement.

Seat positioning

When people are in those seats, it’s important that the heads of everyone talking are at about the same height above the floor.  Conversations during which some people sit on floor cushions or stools while others are in conventional chairs distort dialog.  Those who are being looked up at physically come to be “looked up” at socially and their comments are treated as if those who’ve uttered them have more expertise, competence, and experience while for those seated lower the situation is reversed—which, come to think of it may be a great way for parents to arrange chairs—but if there are real differences in seat heeight conversations among peers are distorted.  Also, people we see at about our own eye level seem more trustworthy.

Some reclining seats can be a plus, particularly if there are multiples of them, because we are less annoyed by what other people have to say when we’re reclined, as we are when sitting on a chaise lounge, than we are when sitting in a more convention posture—and after a few days, isn’t every sister-in-law and great uncle “trying”?

Cushions!

Always, seats should be cushioned.  These cushions do not need to be opulent, something an inch high will do just fine.  When we sit on even a modest cushion we socialize more pleasantly than others than we do when we’re sitting on a chair without a cushion, that plain wooden surface is not good for chats.

Arms are good – to create your territory…

Having a few seats with arms can be a very good thing, so are coffee tables and end tables where we can put down our drinks and snacks while we spend time together. These arms and “snack holders” are important because they help us establish our own territory in the midst of other people and having a territory encourages us to feel relaxed and feel comfortable.

Having a territory sounds very much like something that is important to a chipmunk and should not be key to the wellbeing of a modern human being, but we need territories as much as our cute furry friends.

Some people have larger personal spaces than others; chairs with arms and seats that are light enough to be moved slightly, can help people sit where they want, relative to other people.

Conversation Nooks

A conversation nook, where people can sit with a view of the rest of the people present but not need to consider the possibility that someone may approach them from behind while they’re sitting will be very popular with minglers and fill fast.  It has what is known in the psych biz as “prospect and refuge.”

Zones

Creating zones supports mingling when there are opportunities for varying numbers of people to congregate. You can “zone” a space with brighter and dimmer lights, via furniture arrangements, and using changes in rugs or ceiling heights—however you decide to or can zone spaces for mingling you should, because doing so will create beehives bursting with conversation throughout.

It’s best if most of the people in any one zone can see people in others.  That makes “surprise” arrivals in an area less likely, and that keeps conversations flowing and those present comfy.

Adding mirrors can help with this when furniture or pillars or something else might make longer sight lines difficult.

Also, mirrors on walls makes spaces seem larger, just as lighter colours do, and that can help with “right-sizing” a gathering place.

Read the next article on how to scent your space for optimum mingling!